It would be better not to know so many things
than to know so many things that are not so. ~ Felix Okoye
This about sums things up for me lately. I have been the target of misguided judgments and attacks recently. I've been told the 'truth will set me free'. I've been told I am 'hardwired to be critical' and have been the beneficiary of snide and passive-aggressive comments on Facebook (really?!)
I feel like I'm back in sixth grade. I remember vividly when some of the neighborhood girls would get it into their heads to 'gang up' on my best friends and I. Once my family came home from vacation to find that my friends had written with charcoal all over our sidewalk and driveway; unkind, juvenile comments.
I suppose when people have insecurities of their own, it is easier to heap the blame on someone around them for those things they can't face head on. And I find myself wanting to defend myself. But then I realize, if blaming me is the only way these people can feel good, then so be it. I prefer not to succumb to the he said/she said of it all. I know in my heart what I have done (and have not done.) I have made my attempts to reach out to these people, explain my perception of things, ask directly "What have I done to have you hold this grudge all this time?" But the bottom line is, I can't change the way people think about me. They haven't taken the time to talk to me face to face, and would rather make assumptions and judgments, and take pleasure in spreading their poison. They have made determinations about me with very little knowledge of me or my story.
It is exhausting and disheartening. And a lesson in the shallowness of people's souls. I breathe in peace, and breathe out love. I breathe in peace, and breathe out hope. I am tired.