Did I do enough? That is the question that keeps bouncing around in my brain.
As parents, we spend a good portion of our lives 'preparing' our kids to go out and be citizens of this world. Ideally, we have given them all the tools they need to make sound choices and bring a level of maturity and responsibility to the endeavors that follow graduating high school.
And yet here I sit, worried that I haven't done enough. Was I present enough, was I involved enough, have I given Rebecca enough opportunity to grow and mature and develop? I feel a sudden sense of panic that I could have done better. This is where I have to trust that I have indeed done enough. And trust my daughter to go out and do what she needs to do to finish the job we started together.
And just as I have made mistakes over the past 18 years, she will make mistakes. And I have to trust that she will recognize the lesson and move forward. And hopefully she won't second guess or beat herself up, like her mother does.
This is the part where I have to know that, wherever I am, wherever she is, wherever we may be in this journey, we are enough. Even on the days when we feel our worst, we are enough. Every day we can strive to be our best selves, whatever 'best' is that day, and that is enough.
Godspeed, Rebecca. Letting go is going to be harder than I thought, but you have my trust that whatever comes your way, you have enough of what it takes to meet it head on. Even if that 'enough' is just reaching out to someone and asking for help, that will be enough. Go out and be your best self, and that will be MORE than enough.