I had a conversation with two friends the other day. It was about love. One friend said she loved everyone. I said I didn't think that was possible. She said sure it is...you don't have to like them, you don't have to be around them, but you can love them. I asked how she defined that kind of love. She said well, if they were hurting or in need, you'd help them, right? I said yes, of course...that's just who I am. I do reach out, even when I've been hurt or judged by someone.
So, you know what I want for Christmas? I want people to get past their petty BS and be nice to each other. I want people to give others the benefit of the doubt, rather than assuming the worst about each other. I want people to realize that, while they are holding onto grudges and misconceptions and judgements, someone's best friend, college roommate, spouse, brother, neighbor, co-worker (the list goes on...) has been diagnosed with, is fighting, or has just died from cancer or (fill in the blank).
I want people to understand that each of us is struggling with our own doubts, worries, insecurities, and fears, and we should make an extra effort to be kind to each person we meet, rather than dismiss them as crazy, or whacked, or whatever definition allows us to separate ourselves from 'them'. I want people do understand that how someone behaves has less to do with them and more to do with the individual...that the individual handles their feelings and emotions the best way they know how, with the intention of feeling better. Nothing more. It is not that individual's responsibility to make those around them feel better. It is not their job to make others understand how they feel. Our feelings often come unbidden, we can't always explain them ourselves. How we process those feelings is very much a personal journey, and we should not be subject to judgement or expectations by others. There's no 'should' about it. It just is.
So that is my wish...that we all have the capacity to love each other. Including me...I need to love me and everyone else. And part of that love is offering help when it's needed. And giving myself the love and help I need during difficult and painful times is absolutely necessary, if I'm going to offer that to others.
There it is, what I want, and what i want to offer: Love. I love you all. Unconditionally. If you need me, I'm there. I have compassion and empathy for you and what you experience. I choose to ignore any judgement or hurtful thing you've said about me. I forgive you and choose to move into the new year with a clear conscience and an open heart.
May you enjoy the best the season has to offer, and may those feelings of peace and love and compassion carry through into the new year and beyond.