Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Summer of Love

This will probably read more like a rambling than a coherent blog post.

Just a coincidence that this year marks the 40th anniverary of the quintessential lovefest, Woodstock. Didn't make sense to struggle with something so insignificant as the title of this blog post, so there it is.

Feeling very alive lately. Nerves right at the top of my skin. Awareness heightened to a ridiculous level: words mean more, music affects me more profoundly, and tears come more easily. My heart feels very open right now. And on top of all of this, I feel calm. Peaceful. Nothing significant has happened. I noticed a difference earlier in the summer, like I'd turned some kind of emotional corner. Hard to explain, but the feeling has held in any case. And yes, this does sound a lot like the "twitterpated" feeling discussed in the spring. I suppose in a way that's what this is, but more twitterpated with life, living, and love (not the sappy stuff, the real stuff, the enduring love of real connections...)

I do know this: I have connected and reconnected with so many extraordinary people and friends over the summer.

SUUSI, of course, is always an experience in connections. No need to go into that again, but it definitely grounded me and gave me a renewed sense of self.

The reunion in Norfolk was almost magical. Friends and acquaintances I hadn't seen in over 30 years, all together for a weekend at a beach house. We exchanged stories, memories, joys and sorrows. We came together from all the different places we'd been scattered, both geographically and in our life's journeys; we have different political views, different religious backgrounds, and yet we enjoyed food, drink, music and dancing, and came away with a renewed sense of where we come from and a deeper connection to each other. Now there is talk of making this an annual event. I hope so.

And at home, in our little town, it seems that some fences are being mended, and misunderstandings forgiven. There have been many occasions for deep connections and strengthening of friendships. Even the most cynical among us has felt the love. I can't attribute it to anything specific. But I do know that it makes me happy. I have friends in my life who 'get' me, and that is priceless. They recognize things in me that I forget, and they remind me. They gently encourage me to be kinder to myself, to love myself. And I am so very grateful.

And I know, the one constant in our lives is change. Impermanance. Nothing lasts forever. I'm about to turn 50. Not sure what the future holds. All the more reason, then, to embrace the now. My heart is open, my mind is open, and nothing really matters but right now.

3 comments:

  1. Oh, it feels so good, like a drug almost. Thank the universe for times like these to get us through the dark days. I think the most important thing to remember about these upswings in conscience are that they don't last forever, but we can carry them forward when we need them in times to come. Not that it means we aren't growing from these lighter moments, learning how to love and be open, learning to accept people for all their faults. All good lessons, these. I struggle with remembering them when it comes to my own pitfalls and foibles. Like you, I'm much harder on myself than on my friends, and if I could carry even half of the love that is going around right now into the next bout of depression and lonliness that I know will come, then things will probably go a lot smoother.

    For now, keep the love comin'...and find the joy in every day. Gary B.'s words are always inspiring on FB. I think he really "gets" this idea without being all woowoo about it. Neat guy...good words. Be well, my friend. I love you!

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  2. You sure it's not swine flu? Symptoms sound the same.

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  3. August 19 at 7:36pm (posting this for and from a friend...)

    Lori,
    There must be something about this year. I also have reflected on myself, my past, my future, mostly in a positive way. I'm a little frightened of my future.

    I've come to realize that there are many very lovely people in my life and I wish to have many more. It my have a little to do with the turnstile of time. That 50th birthday had arrived for me in May of this year. It is a marking point. I realized that I like me and have to do things that are good for me and that includes friends.

    I like you and am looking forward to getting to know you better.

    I love what you wrote. Thanks for befriending me.
    :D Lisa

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