Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Weight

I continue to shake my head at the discordance between me and the ex. Everything I've done since we split has been in the interest of Rebecca's safety and happiness. Yet I continue to be blamed for his lack of involvement in her life, and apparently I've done a bad job of raising her. Despite this, I encourage her to understand that he does love her, he just has a difficult time expressing it in a way that shows he supports her. Unfortunately, she overhears him and his wife discussing me, which upsets Rebecca. She is so frustrated that she has twice now contemplated out loud the idea of cutting ties with him. I do not, of course, encourage this. I want my daughter to have a healthy relationship with her father. I could over-analyze this for days. But the bottom line is I'm watching Rebecca grow further and further apart from her dad, knowing the full while that he blames me (based on my initiating the split), and knowing that all she really wants from him is his support and approval...the very things that he wanted from his own parents growing up and as an adult, and yet never felt he had. I'm at a loss. There's a heaviness in my heart.